Sweat the Small Stuff

What's the secret to success? Sweat the small stuff. That means paying attention to the details.


In order to provide excellent customer service, our employees must be able to communicate effectively, politely and they should genuinely care for the customers. This doesn't happen by itself. How we interact with friends and family is not necessarily a model for how we should interact with customers and prospective customers. This will require training and a development of skills necessary to carry out activities. Just because we care, that doesn't mean we are showing it in a manner that others would recognize. Do you know how your voice sounds? What does your face look like when you show empathy? How does your body language connect with the message your voice is giving?


It requires sweating the small stuff to ensure that an encounter with a customer or prospective customer ends on a positive note.


We need to ensure that our employees can actually solve problems for our customers. Have we given them the tools to do so? Clear cut guidelines help your staff know the boundaries as well as what's expected of them. Give people the ability to solve problems. Put procedures into place so people clearly know where they stand. Reward people for going above and beyond.


Then take it a step further. What needs to be done to avoid the service issues in the first place? Is it product based? Is it the result of unclear policies and procedures? Keep a log of service issues and incidents. Actively work to cut down on the factors creating them in the first place.


We need to create companies that create cultures where providing the best products and the best service is not just words on a poster. "Good enough" should never be tolerated...and, yes, you must sweat the small stuff. I hate that phrase by the way, "Don't sweat the small stuff - and it's all small stuff". It gives permission not to care. Just because it's small to you, doesn't mean it's not big to your customers.


Respect your customers. Do you value them as the reasons for your continued success or are they simply dollar bills to be pocketed? Your attitude is also felt by your employees. They'll take their cues from you.


Great success requires great effort. Sweating the small stuff - how you act, how you react, your attention to details - all combine to lift your efforts above others. Commit to it and reap the rewards.

Not Being Pushy Shouldn't Equal Not Selling

Once again, misconceptions about selling rear their ugly heads.

It's so fixed in the minds of many that selling equals "pushy" that many people who must sell aren't selling at all. They present their product. They'll tell you what's great about it. Maybe even ask you a question or two but leave it up to you, the prospective customer to take the lead. If the customer has no questions, makes no move to buy, then it's over. Sure, some of them will decide to buy later on, but all this technique does is leave money on the table.


Now I'm not going to advocate "pushy". It really doesn't work effectively as a long term strategy. Perhaps if you are working with a product that people will only need once, you could pull it off. However, if you're hoping for them to buy again - or give you referrals - pushy isn't your best choice.


Going in the opposite direction, isn't effective either. The goal should be to discover needs and concerns through careful questions and listening - discussing the pros and cons. If there are more pros than cons suggest the product/service as the solution.


But here's the kicker. To do this right and to be effective, you've got to practice. You need to know how to do this right. Not just a few meetings with your manager or (and this is really bad) being handed a binder or a pdf file and told to learn it.


You need to practice, you need to DO.


Only that will bring you the confidence, the results and the happy, satisfied customers who do not think you are pushy!




KRG Communications Group: we help you bridge the gap between knowing and doing. (www.krgcommunications.com) How can we help you?

Sales Process: Just as Important as Sales Skills

When most people think about the skills necessary for success in sales, they usually think about the interpersonal skills used to successfully close sales and generate business. After all, selling is all about how you deal with people, right? Well... it's not always that simple.

Sometimes the fault for poor or less than expected sales results lies not in the people skills of the sales or customer care reps in your company but rather the sales process that has been set up. Our processes can trip us up and make it harder for people to say "yes" to us. For instance:


Recently I received a call for a phone company, asking me to change my service. Now I'm always in favor of saving money so I definitely gave a listen. I gave my email address and promised to look over the information. I had a hard time listening to the rep as she appeared to be calling from a very noisy call center.


About an hour later I got a call (again from the noisy call center) from the original rep's supervisor asking for my business. I politely told her I prefer to think about this type of decision first. She offered to call me back in 3 days. The next day, I received her follow up call. No reference to the fact she wasn't supposed to call me for two days. She asked for my order again. Now, at this point, I had realized that this offer wouldn't be a good fit for me. I didn't like the length of the contact. She immediately offered a contract of a much shorter duration. I declined the offer.


Here's why I declined the offer:

• Why can't the first person conduct the entire sales process? Unless you have a brand new person or a very complicated product, there's really no reason for a second person to get involved. It smacks of poor training.

• Why is a "supervisor" calling back? Wasn't born yesterday... I've worked in industries where all the sales reps had business cards that said "vice president". Come on, we know you're the closer. There are smoother ways to handle that. (see my first point above)

• Inconsistency. If you're going to call back sooner, reference that to me. For instance "I know I'm supposed to call you back in 2 days, but I wanted to make sure you were aware of ....."

• Offered concession to fast. If you come down in price too fast, or make any concessions too quickly, it makes people feel uneasy. "What else can they compromise on? Would I have been taken advantage of if I hadn't brought that up?"

And oh yes, get a noise canceling headset...

Obviously, these techniques get sales, but how many sales are you losing? Sometimes, we forget there are human beings on the line with human reactions. We need to be able to walk the line between passive and aggressive in order to achieve our goals. Overly aggressive sales techniques increase the odds that buyers will cancel after the "aura" of the sales environment you're created goes away. For more sales and solid customer relationships, use assertive techniques that focus on your customer's needs.m

Poor sales processes can cost you just as many sales as poor interpersonal skills. Make sure yours are designed to help not hinder.

Sales or Service Success: Listening is Key

I spend a lot of time with inside sales and customer service personnel helping them improve their interpersonal skills in areas such as questioning techniques, reaching decision makers, dealing with difficult people, closing sales and so on. The key to all of it, however, is the ability to listen well.

Studies have shown that we spend about 9% of our time writing, 13% of our time reading, 23% of our time speaking and 55% of our time listening. What's staggering about that is not only do we spend most of our time listening but that we spend double the time listening as we do speaking.


Here are some things to keep in mind:
You cannot not communicate. Even when you are not verbally saying anything, you transmit messages through your non-verbal's. How you dress, your body language, we count on so many visuals to communicate.

Up to 80% of our communication skills are non-verbal. So, when you speak to someone on the telephone, in effect, you're only using about 20% of your skills.


In my work in inside sales and customer service training, I've used the phrase "Communicating Blindfolded". It's a good analogy. Think of phone work as being given a blindfold. You can hear - but you can't see. You don't have a choice, you must listen.

I consider listening to be one of the three legs of the communication stool we sit on when we communicate over the telephone. The other two are words and voice. When I began in inside sales, I only considered these last two - but the more time I spent in these activities the more I came to realize that I can never truly be effective - never really reach my potential - unless I acknowledge the need for, improved and used my listening skills.


One of the greatest obstacles to good listening, particularly over the phone is that meanings cannot be transferred from one mind to another - only words can be transferred. The challenge here is that you, as the receiver of the message, attach your own meaning to the words I sent you. This is why I'm a huge fan of using clarifying questions when I speak with someone. Just because I attach a particular meaning to certain words or phrases, doesn't mean that someone else does. Regardless of the stage I'm in the sales or service process, I need to make sure that I understand what you mean and that you understand what I mean. 

I do this by focusing only on the task at hand: listening.

Listening is affected by what's called "selective attention". This is almost as a survival technique because I can't' possibly listen to and process every sound I hear. have to use selective attention in order to listen actively - and that means I have to stay in the moment. I can't let my attention wander. If I'm on the telephone, I don't yield to the temptation of reading email, trolling the news sites online or reading that report on my desk, all while "listening" to you. Can't be done.

Remember my mantra: Multi-tasking is the enemy of good listening. 

Listen well and all will be well. 

Can I tell you a Secret about Sales and Service Coaching?

Yes, I know I look tired - but here's a short message worth listening to!

Click here for the video:

I've Got a Secret

A Key Ingredient for Sales and Service Success

Can you feel the love? The like? The Dislike? The Frustration?

Do you have the ability to figuratively step into another's shoes and feel what they do?

Can you look up from your smartphone and connect with someone else? Can you stand not being the center of your universe?

Why do I ask these questions? Simple. Being able to communicate effectively requires the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Only when we can empathize and sympathize with others can we truly find the common ground necessary for any kind of relationship - either business or personal.

We need to connect with people. At it's very heart, sales and service is about forging connections - with suppliers, with co-workers, with customers and prospects. Companies who take a "this is what we sell, this is how we service" attitude without taking into consideration the needs of others will not find themselves successful in business for very long. Sales and service personnel will not find themselves employed for long either. 

Walk a mile in someone's shoes. 

Vital to Your Success 2: More Roles for the Inside Sales Manager

Motivator

It can be unnerving - sitting in a client meeting - when a top manager turns to me and begins to talk about how poor motivated the sales or service staff is.(My brain begins to signal UH OH!) Not a bad thing unto itself, but this is what usually follows: This  upper level management member says they need their managers to "Fire them up!” “Get them going!” “Motivate them!” Almost as though there is a magic wand that can be waved and “BAM!” people are motivated and productive, sales forecasts are being made and all is right with the world. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. There are no silver bullets, no magic pill that helps you motivate others.(sorry!) There are however, things that you can do in order to help people motivate themselves.


Experts in motivation theories will generally point out that motivation comes from within and not from without. A manager should not expect to give a “motivating” speech or incentive and expect it to work. With out understanding what is important to the employee, it is nearly impossible to be effective in motivating
them. 

A manager needs to discover what motivates each of their subordinates and create their motivational plans accordingly. It is difficult to motivate others but it is possible to create an environment conducive to motivating each rep. This is effective motivation. 

Positive reinforcement should always be chosen over negative. Most importantly, this requires managers and supervisors to get to know the people who are selling for them. Finding out what motivates people can be as simple as asking questions during a goal setting session. Some people will respond well to a lot of positive attention, some people will not. It’s important to observe how people react to each incentive. Some people respond well to certain things, others have different expectations. Don't use programs/incentives/etc because you like them - use them because your staff will.

In looking for motivators, a manager must observe their employees. Plus, keep in mind that motivations change. What motivates people can change based on what is happening in their lives. For example, a sales person who usually isn't motivated by money may become so, if something changes in their personal life which demands more cash. Conversely, some people will reach a level of earning and by satisfied by it. These sales people will not be satisfied by monetary rewards.

Converse, convey, connect...

What makes you passionate about what you do? 

What keeps you involved and motivated day after day?


For me, it's the knowledge that I've helped someone on the road to success. Whether that success is being better at their roles in a call center, helping an independent sales rep refine their technique, working with front line employees in a office to be more effective communicators or mentoring small business owners in their ability to manage, coach and motivate their sales and service staff, it's important to me that I make a difference. For me it's always been about how I can help people succeed.


Because when we work to help others - no matter how big or small an effort- good things happen all around.


In a nutshell, that's what sales and service are all about. Working to help others. Sometimes in the middle of a rough sales month or a day of really tough calls - inbound or outbound, it's easy to forget that. What makes it easier to stay on track is to have the tools and techniques that enable you to succeed.


Enable you to find passion.


I can help. If you'd like to be more effective, if you'd like your staff to be more effective in their sales or service mission and goals, I can help. This blog is called "Converse, convey, connect" because that's what we need to do in order to be successful in our sales and service relationship. If you'd like to learn more about how I can help you, here's some additional contact info:

website: www.krgcommunications.com
email: info@krgcommunications.com
phone: 973.709.1252

Avoid These Phrases

Often, when doing research for an upcoming training event in an organization or as part of a consulting assignment, I have the opportunity to listen to both side of customer service or sales calls. Here's what I find really cool - I can always tell when the wheels come off the wagon during a call. And it's usually not the customer. I would venture that 8 out of 10 calls that go awry, happen due to something the customer service or sales professional has said. Always well meaning, but often the one thing that sets off the caller.


Whether we sell or service, there are certain phrases that we should avoid using. There are certain phrases that all but guarantee a negative reaction from our customer or prospect. Let's take a look at words and phrases we should avoid in our telephone work.


I don't know. Is that what some one really wants to hear when they speak with a company representative? After all, isn't it your job to be able to answer customer requests? If you don't know, find out who does and get the answer. An alternative phrase might be "I'm not sure of the answer and I want to make sure I give you the correct information. Let me check that out for you. Are you able to hold?"


I (or we) can't. Don't you just hate being told no? So do most people. Find out what you can do and offer alternatives.


Hang on a second, I'll be right back... can sound rude and abrupt. Use "Are you able to hold instead?" It's much more polite and empathetic.

and really, really get back to them quickly. When you're on hold, I can still hear your caller. The longer you are away, the more time they have to stew. If you can avoid "hold", do so.


You have to... A prospective buyer doesn't or shouldn't HAVE to do anything. We're the ones trying to make the sale. If an action is required on their part, let them know what they'll "need to" do in order to accomplish the objective"


No... No one likes to be told no. Offer alternatives. If you can not come to agreement, be gracious. You never know when they might change their mind.

It's often difficult enough handling sales or services calls all day long. Why make your job any harder? The right words go a long way towards a quick and effective solution. 

Secondary Sales Goals

A successful inside sales call has many components. The exact components making up the call will vary depending on the result you want.  First, you'll need to determine the goal of the call.  What is your ultimate goal? The usual answer is the sale. Then take the time determine your secondary goal. If you don't get the sale, what do you want to leave with? Often a sales rep will say that the only goal of the call is to close a sale. That’s a good goal, but many sales, particularly in the B2B arena, are not closed on the 1st attempt.


Not having a secondary goal will leave the inside sales rep and the telephone conversation muddled as well as make it more difficult to ultimately obtain the sale. Therefore, a sales rep must always ask themselves before a call “What do I want to get out of this. If I can’t make the sale in this call, what do I want?” Here are examples of secondary goals:

• Discovering the “real” decision maker or other influencers
• Finding out the “real” objections for not purchasing
• Learning the needs and wants of the potential buyer
• Scheduling a call back for a specific time

All are valid pieces of information you will want to further explore a potential sales opportunity. Decide on your secondary goals - they will help you find your way to your primary goal, the sale.

Motivation Done Right

The first thing management usually wants a manager to do with a sales staff is “Fire them up!” “Get them going!” “Motivate them!” It's almost as though there is a magic wand that can be waved and “BAM!” people are motivated and productive, sales forecasts are being made and all is right with the world. 

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. There are no silver bullets, no magic pill that helps you motivate others. There are however, things that you can do in order to help people motivate themselves.

Experts in motivation theories will generally point out that motivation comes from within and not from without. A manager should not expect to give a “motivating” speech or incentive and expect it to work. It may make some people feel uplifted - but it's a temporary effect. Without understanding what is important to the employee, it is nearly impossible to be effective in motivating them.


Managers need to discover what motivates each of their subordinates and create their motivational strategies accordingly. Although it is difficult to motivate others, it is possible to create an environment conducive to motivating each employee.


Positive reinforcement should always be chosen over negative. This requires managers and supervisors to get to know the people who are selling for them. Finding out what motivates people can be as simple as asking questions during a goal setting session. Some people will respond well to a lot of positive attention, some people will not. Observe how people react to each incentive. Actions will speak louder than words...and motivations change.


For example, a salesperson who usually isn't motivated by money may actually become so, if something changes in their personal life which demands more cash. Conversely, some people will reach a level of earning and by satisfied by it. These salespeople will not be satisfied by monetary rewards.


Spending the time to learn what motivates your staff will pay off handsomely for your and them. You can't motivate them but you can help them dig deep into their own motivations to help them succeed.

Make Time to Review: Opening Your Inside Sales Call

Time for a Review:

Have you taken the time to think about your telephone presentations lately?

Sometimes it seems as though the hardest thing to do  is reach the decision maker. But what happens when you do reach them? Are you prepared? We can get so used to being shot down or listening to voice mail box instructions that when we actually do get a decision maker on the line, we get all tongue-tied. 

The best way to avoid that is to plan your opening in advance. Write it down. Create an opening that makes people want to listen to you. Avoid writing a prepared script that sounds like a direct mail piece. All too often when I look at prepared scripts, I notice sentences that might look well in a direct mail piece but will either get you shot down quickly or simply won't engage your prospective customer. You've gone through so much to get to a decision maker, make sure that you are making the most of the opportunity.

Here's two examples of less than stellar openings: openings that tout (1) money savings or (2) a saving of time and effort. Either of these may very well be the case, but everyone says their product either 1) saves you money, 2) saves you time or 3) makes your efforts more efficient thereby also giving you savings from 1 and 2 as well. Seriously, everyone says it. Doing this actually makes it easier for a decision maker to tune you out - because you're not different from anyone else who calls - and they'll try to get off the phone as quickly as possible.

Let's think about a better way. Why not simply introduce yourself and your company name, make a quick one sentence statement about what your product is, and then ask some questions. Take the opportunity to learn more about your potential customers. In fact, one of the things you might find is that this decision maker is not a potential customer. Isn't better to find that out up front? Isn't it better to learn who you should be talking to or know that currently your products/services are not a good match for a particular organization?

Sit down and review your opening. Make it natural sounding. Avoid tired and hackneyed phrases. Take the time, instead, to become genuinely interested in your prospect. You'll be far happier with the results.

Will You Show Up Today?

"You Have to Show Up" This is a favorite phrase of anyone who's success is performance based. It's also a favorite phrase of managers and trainers everywhere.

 You want to succeed, you've got to show up - and if you show up often enough you'll get the jobs/results you want. It's an apt analogy for people who sell for a living.

You have to show up - be there not just physically but your brain as well. Are you fully engaged every time you're with a customer or prospect? Being fully focused on your customer and your objectives requires giving the proverbial 150% of yourself. 

That's how you succeed.

The Difference Between Knowing and Doing

Selling is very different from many types of jobs. One very important reason is that selling is a behavior. It's not a task like keyboarding or knowing how to use Excel. Selling requires us to use our interpersonal communications skills in order to achieve our goals.

In order to use our skills to the best effect, we need to be completely comfortable using them. Being completely comfortable requires more than just writing out your presentations. You need to actually practice it. This means role playing. Now many people are not comfortable with this. However, the best way to become comfortable with any skill is to practice it until you master it. Offer to partner with co-worker - use the buddy system to help improve both your skills sets. Role play several times other a period of several days or weeks. Don't do it once. It's the repetition that helps you feel comfortable. 

This is the difference between knowing and doing.

Don't be afraid to ask for a critique. Feedback is crucial to the process. Often we are too close to be able to accurately judge how we are doing. Don't assume feedback is negative. Ask your partner: What did you like? What was good but could be better? What needs improvement? You'll notice that we took 3 steps in this feedback process. First, it's important to know what you are doing right. It gives you something to build on. Second, you want to make sure you are mastering the skill - not just going through the motions. Third, you need people to be honest enough with you to be able to tell you what areas you really need to improve. Create a plan of action for yourself based on this feedback. Think about it, practice it on your own. Use it in your sales presentations. After a few days, ask your buddy to role play with you again. See where you've improved. Repeat this process over time to see real improvement. 

See the difference between knowing and doing.

When we master a skill, the comfort level comes with it. It becomes easy to use because we've taken the time to master it. Simply attending a teleclass or a seminar won't increase your comfort level for questioning sequences by themselves. Leaving the class with a resolution to practice and use the skills - put yourself on a course of self-improvement until you master them - that will make it easy for you.

It's the difference between knowing and doing.

Be Your Own Customer

Would You Be Happy with Your Company's Service?


When was the last time you were your own customer? Have you taken the time recently to experience your organization from your customer's perspective? I was reminded of this last week while out with a friend. The restaurant was busy and noisy but that's never an excuse for poor service - after all if you want to be a successful restaurant, shouldn't the norm BE a full, busy and potentially noisy place?

The really sad thing about our experience - a process change would have avoided the entire situation. Regardless of your industry, make the time to review your processes and procedures when it comes to your customers. Take the time to be the "undercover boss" or send in trusted friends or associates.

Be honest with yourself when it comes to change. All too often we find it easy to blame individuals when we ourselves have not provided the tools and guidance needed for success. Process can often be as important as interpersonal skills. The two work best in tandem.

Chances are you only want the best when dealing with other companies or establishments. Don't your customers deserve the best as well?

Not So Small Stuff

I've always disliked the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff". It's always seemed to me that one of the best ways to accomplish big things is to build on the smaller stuff we have to deal with. I get that it's important not to get bogged down with meaningless details but we have to make sure that we aren't justifying sloppy shortcuts in the name of not fretting the smaller things. 

Below is a great quote from Dale Carnegie on the subject. (If you've not read Dale Carnegie - run,do not walk to your nearest library, bookstore or download his work. Seriously.)


Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.


Sweat the small stuff. You'll be glad you did.

The Best Sales Trainers Sell the Best

As a change of pace, I wanted to spend some time talking about training and leadership.  There's a parallel between training and selling. Let's walk through it and see if you can spot the similarities while exploring the differences between effective facilitated learning and teaching orientated training.

You might find yourself asked to "train" others without learning how to so effectively. In order for a training program to be successful you need to understand how adults best learn. You'll need to learn how to lead them into the new behaviors. Anyone who is attentive and willing during class will learn the material. But will they use the new behaviors back on the job? If you are in a manager's role, you'd want to make sure that the time you invest in a learning initiative is time and money well spent.

How do Adults Learn?

Adults learn differently from children. Whereas children can be considered "blank slates", adults bring a wealth of already accumulated knowledge. This is quite helpful to the learning experience and a savvy facilitator will use this to their advantage. Adults also bring different expectations to the learning process. Adults will expect the learning to be a partnership, with the facilitator providing the impetuous and the means for the learning process while the adults expect to be responsible retaining and being able to use the learning. Adults expect to be respected for both their experiences and their opinions.

Adults tend to learn best when they are able to make connections between what they are currently learning and past experiences. They also prefer to be full participants in the learning process.

What is Facilitating?

Facilitating is the art of leadership in group communications. In a training or learning environment, this may mean the facilitator directs the activities and the line of questioning, but allows the learners to come up with the answers themselves. This has several positive effects on the learning experience. First, this interactive environment will be more stimulating for the learner. This increases the likelihood of retention. Second, by requiring the learners produce or generate the information instead of simply hearing it from a "teacher", the learners will develop a stake in the learning process. Learners with a stake in the process will retain more. Third, this allows for more learning by doing, whether looking up information in a manual or on a website and using that information that information in order to process requests.


Teaching assumes that the learner knows nothing and the teacher everything. Some of the differences between teaching and learning can be summed up in this way:

• Teaching is delivery-heavy and often requires entertainment to keep attention. On the other hand, if we focus on how to use the expectations and experiences of our learners, we realize that effect learning requires more.
• Learning through facilitation involves questioning-heavy, inductive/ inferential, hands-on, reflective, interactive. You lead the participants to the desired behaviors.

Participating in the experience helps retain information more effectively as well as buy into the experience. Hmm, sounds a lot like a sales situation! It is. Treating your learners as though they are potential customers goes a long way towards getting acceptance of and ultimately mastery of the skills you want them to use.

In Defense of Sales

During holidays or family get-togethers, many people dread spending time with various family members. Uncomfortable questions are asked, usually about relationship status (He hasn't proposed yet? Dump him!) or family/fertility status (“You can’t wait forever.” “Really, it’s no good to only have one.” or “You’ll completely change your mind once you have one.”). Me? I’m not grilled. I’m constantly regaled by tales of the worst of my industry or people’s thoughts about my industry – none of which are positive.

No, I’m not a politician or a lawyer. I’m in sales.

Everyone has their favorite, horrifying story of a salesperson run amok. They tend to cluster in fields such as car sales, real estate and home improvements. Now, I made a decision long ago to stay B2B. The hours are generally better and I've found the work environments to be more professional. Because most of the general public only see sales from the fields I've just mentioned, they tend to think that all sales people are like that.

Except, we’re not.

The best, the most successful sales people treat their customers and prospective customers with respect. They ask questions to learn about needs and concerns. They won't shove you into a square peg of a product/service when you need one with a round hole. They want you to be long term pleased with your decision to do business with them. They want you to refer others to them.


So why do people sell that other, terrible way? Simply put, it works. It’s not great for long term relationships and it certainly won’t gain any referrals but for a salesperson that needs to make quota, he might not care. Notice I've used “he”. In my experience, you’ll generally find harder sell techniques from men than women. To an extent, it’s about natural and environmentally reinforced styles. On the other hand, many times poor techniques simply arise out of misconceptions or lack of training or poor training in general. Poor communication from supervisors/managers also fall into that territory. If you've never been taught how to do it right and you spend your time in a situation where everyone does it wrong, well…. Those poor techniques will seem right to you.


So, let’s all make a pledge: To use our selling skills to enhance the customer experience. To be an ambassador for the sales profession by using effective yet appropriate selling techniques. To help guide our prospects and customer towards making the best decision for them. 

When you do this, notice how your sales will go up, not down. Notice how you’ll experience less stress on the job (because when we use communication techniques that encourage consensus and not conflict, it’s just easier). Notice how people will regard you in a more favorable light – as a partner not an adversary. Notice how your relatives will have fewer stories to regale you with at your niece’s graduation party.

Leave Your Ego at the Door

We often hear the phrase "perception is reality" - how and what people think about things is often more important than what really is. I found there's an exception to that, though. We often can't judge our own performance, particularly when it comes to "soft" skills. See, we can't hear ourselves as others do (seriously, we can't - we can't hear our own voices as others do. We hear it from inside our heads, they hear the sound that comes out of our mouths ) and we can't see our body language as others do.

I was reminded of this recently after cantoring (leading the singing) for a Catholic Mass. I've been away from singing for over a year and half and am slowly going back to "performing" in public. I had made a point to record myself so that I could hear what others heard and create a plan of action to correct myself based on that. As the music director and I discussed my work, we touched on the topic of singers perspectives of their work. Sometimes when you think you sound great, you didn't and sometimes you sound great when you think you were awful. Very hard to judge ourselves.

So, why am I musing on this today? I had one of those light bulb moments yesterday. You see, I'm often asked to train people with lots of experience whom management feels - and I've verified - are not performing well. Their perception is that they "know this" and "I do this all the time". Often it's important to record and role play, not to break people down but to help them recognize that perhaps their perception is not the reality and their performance has been suffering.

It takes a lot be able to put yourself on the line and change your view of your skills. In order to maintain your skills. It's important to leave yourselves open to the possibility that you are not doing as well as you think you are. Scary, right? It can play havoc with your sense of self and who you see yourself as. But without the ability to accept that you can always improve and that there is always something new to learn, you'll stagnate or go backward. So, you leave your ego at the door and recognize that other's perceptions may be your reality. Like my singing, your communication skills will be the better for it.

Faulting People for Behaving Like Humans

Have you ever sat down and thought about how often you judge others? You judge them for their behaviors…their ideas, their lifestyles, their choices. Sometimes you judge lightly. Other times- if you are honest with yourself – it may be downright nasty. Often you are making judgments about people you don’t even know personally. Or if you do, you assume that everyone else in the same situation has the same motivations or will make the same choices.

In 2014, let’s stop assuming. Let’s stop assuming that when someone thinks differently than ourselves they are dead wrong or worse. Let’s stop assuming – let’s stop assigning guilt. Instead, let’s take the time to learn. Learn about their motivations, their needs, their thoughts. Approach each person as the individual they are. Don’t lump people into a group. Take the time to accept each other for the good, bad and everything else that goes along with being human.

Accept people. Understand them – that doesn't mean you agree – but understand where they are coming from. Perhaps, if we can stop talking (and in some cases yelling) AT each other and start talking TO and WITH each other, you might find that you have more in common with others than you think. You may also find yourselves counting your blessings and thinking “There but for the grace of God, go I”.

Stop judging. Start listening. Use your ability to empathize with others to gain new insights. Ask questions and don’t shut your mind as soon as you hear something you don’t like. Give it your full attention.

The ability to see other’s points of view, to create bridges of understanding will only bring good things to you.

In 2014, my intention is to facilitate this where ever possible and to remember to practice what I preach.

Happy New Year!